Interlocution

Online conversations are the closest to interlocution in feeling. Chat, conversation, talk, visit all convey a feeling of that other mamal breathing the same air and warmed by the same sun.
Trying to reach out of my little cave lately, we'll see how long it lasts. I have tried 4 times since Halloween to get a puppy, each time it all looks like it is falling into place and then ... it falls through. I keep planning to go somewhere with Aura and ... life intrudes or I retreat into my little space and watch the box or play on the computer.
When I want to play with Aidan he's busy playing by himself then when he wants to do something I'm in the middle of a meal or a video game or .... something.
I am depressed and unmotivated and everything is basically going my way but it doesn't help, neither does knowing I'm depressed. I just keep answering that age old question ... how can I mess this up now?