The cold wind blows

November ends.
Got some advice on muscle rehab.
To improve my forearms and get rid of the tendonitis start slow and easy with a light weight, 2 lbs she said.
I almost fell off my chair and she was kind of put out thought I was laughing at her advice.
I had to explain that I had thought I was starting out light and easy when I bought 35lb for my forearms.

She just rolled her eyes.

Funny how many times people do that around me.

Rumblings

Jormangund is restless these last few nights. When he breaks free from his own deathgrip we are all asea.

There have been mighty upheavals around the world, earth quaking and political unrest. Despair and depression drain the life of many.

I am no storm crow but I watch, and wait.

When the day to day becomes the focus depression grows, I see this in so many lives, yet when things take a turn for the worse ... many times the day to day concerns become trivial.

Picture a young man, his life ahead of him he strives to provide for his family often neglecting them in his efforts to do so. A crash late one night and in the days that remain to him all his time is spent with those he loved yet abandonded.

I am upon the rainbow bridge, and see my love a dancing.
I stand there on the rainbow bridge as she my way is glancing.
I wait upon the rainbow bridge ignoring her advancing.
I stay upon the rainbow bridge rejecting her romancing.
I die upon the rainbow bridge her sweet love never chancing.

Shadows

Friends become acquaintances and then shadows of a thought.
A name that rings a bell, which echos through our consciousness evoking images from our shared past.
You know how in movies, they show the strands of a cable snapping - one by one - to build up the suspense? I see that in the relationships around me...
A friend tonight made the perfectly reasonable suggstion that we not exchange gifts for our children this year as we seldom visit and besides they will be out of town for the holidays. It is a welcome suggestion in that we were trying to reduce the amount we spent on presents this year BUT it feels like one more strand in a friendship snapping and flying free.
By accepting the argument, we are each accepting the stated rationalizations. I don't want to agree to continue not visiting as often as we did when the children were first born but it is true that we aren't.

What does that say about all those friends I haven't seen since I graduated from high school 23 years ago. Can I still call them friends?

What about my brothers whom I mostly see at funerals for departed family?

Shadows,
what about my child will I see him less and less becoming a shadow in his life as sports and school then career and family grow to my exclusion. Will I regret that line I draw each night when I say just one more hug and kiss then you have to go to sleep? Should I be storing these up for a shadowy day that is creeping ever nearer?

Shadows,
have I become my own, when did I stop chasing the butterflies of my dreams and get down to chasing my next paycheque so intently?

Shadows,
If I see shadows all around, does that mean I have turned around with my back now to the light I used to desire so intensely?

Should I sound the horn?
Is it ragnorak approaching or only shadows making an old man jumpy?

The Mist

Working nights for tooo long I feel like I had a drug problem that I have since forgotten! I can't remember much of the 90s (though some might not think that a loss).

I treasure each day with my love and my son.

I regret that the women on the other end of the phone on weekends and birthdays are no longer my little girls and I wish I could just fix the issues that they bring up now with a kiss or a hug.

But errant lovers, children playing hookey from school and bills don't follow the old rules and go away. I was told once that just my listening helps but ...

The mists swallow us all in time, swaddle us in confused half memories and bind us with promises and failures remembered by others.

An animal friends mailing list got to calling their pet's death crossing the rainbow bridge
:)
Bifrost must be happy to have a new role in the modern mythos perhaps Heimdahl too can find a new role or a new facet of himself in this new time. Guardian Poet and Warrior becomes tollbooth operator on a virtual highway?

The bridge

Clarity, reveals the banality around. Only partial clarity, as light through the mist will call for Bifrost gaining us a pathway from realm to realm.
Dreams wither in the harsh light of day fading as a shadow at noon, yet like the shadow they only go away to lenghtne again at the end of the day.
This then is my view and my belief, Truth - Clarity is a thief.

"There is more in this world Horatio than is dreamt of in your philosophy"

While misquoted, no doubt, I believe it true and true I believe to be but philosophy, also no doubt.